grandparents

I said no sad posts on my blog, but I just have to let it out.

Lately I have been feeling sad, and a little bit depressed.

It is a combination of too many factors, weather, professional grow, relatives, finances, and list can go on and on.

But at the end, there is just one thing that keeps bothering in my mind.

I knew it was something that was gonna happen at some point since we moved to Canada, but never thought it would be so hard.

When our little Fernando was born, it suddenly hit me. Our sweet baby has 4 grandparents that adores him and loves him to death, but they live 4,000 km away!!!!!

In fact, just 2 of his grandparents had have the chance to hold him :(

I never thought it would hurt me so much. I keep seeing Fernando growing, and he is going fast. And every time I see him doing something new, or every time that I realized that he is not that tinny baby anymore, there is just one thing that comes to my mind... We are not giving our parents the chance to be grandparents!! They can't kiss him, and hold him, and see that cute smile that I wake up to everyday! They can't smell him right after his bath, of feed him and see his expression when he sees the bottle. They can't rock him to sleep, or put him in bed and kiss him good night.

Fernando is the first and only grandkid on my family side and on Cesar's family side. Our parents were so excited when we told them that they were going to be grandpas and grandmas!

I feel aweful... I know our parents totally understand and support our decision to be in Canada. And they would never ever complain about the fact that Fernando is growing up so far away from them.

But it is the look in their faces when we do video calls on Skype that makes me sad. They see us playing with our little one, they see us make him jiggle, and all I can see in their eyes is "I want to hold my grandson so badly"

Looking back at time, I thought our plans were going to work out exactly how we had it in mind. Thought that I would have a full time job, and with me and my hubby working we would be able to save money to go twice a year (at least) to Mexico or to flight the family to Saskatoon. Well, that didn't happen.

Cesar hasn't been home since we moved to Canada (June 2008), I were home in February 2009... We really need to get there.

My heart is getting consumed... little by little. It is time to go back home

Oh well

Good thing you can't see me right now... tomorrow I will wake up with puffy eyes :.....(

ps. Thank God for adoptive family! Fernando has two sets of Canadian grandparents that adopted him :)