grandparents

I said no sad posts on my blog, but I just have to let it out.

Lately I have been feeling sad, and a little bit depressed.

It is a combination of too many factors, weather, professional grow, relatives, finances, and list can go on and on.

But at the end, there is just one thing that keeps bothering in my mind.

I knew it was something that was gonna happen at some point since we moved to Canada, but never thought it would be so hard.

When our little Fernando was born, it suddenly hit me. Our sweet baby has 4 grandparents that adores him and loves him to death, but they live 4,000 km away!!!!!

In fact, just 2 of his grandparents had have the chance to hold him :(

I never thought it would hurt me so much. I keep seeing Fernando growing, and he is going fast. And every time I see him doing something new, or every time that I realized that he is not that tinny baby anymore, there is just one thing that comes to my mind... We are not giving our parents the chance to be grandparents!! They can't kiss him, and hold him, and see that cute smile that I wake up to everyday! They can't smell him right after his bath, of feed him and see his expression when he sees the bottle. They can't rock him to sleep, or put him in bed and kiss him good night.

Fernando is the first and only grandkid on my family side and on Cesar's family side. Our parents were so excited when we told them that they were going to be grandpas and grandmas!

I feel aweful... I know our parents totally understand and support our decision to be in Canada. And they would never ever complain about the fact that Fernando is growing up so far away from them.

But it is the look in their faces when we do video calls on Skype that makes me sad. They see us playing with our little one, they see us make him jiggle, and all I can see in their eyes is "I want to hold my grandson so badly"

Looking back at time, I thought our plans were going to work out exactly how we had it in mind. Thought that I would have a full time job, and with me and my hubby working we would be able to save money to go twice a year (at least) to Mexico or to flight the family to Saskatoon. Well, that didn't happen.

Cesar hasn't been home since we moved to Canada (June 2008), I were home in February 2009... We really need to get there.

My heart is getting consumed... little by little. It is time to go back home

Oh well

Good thing you can't see me right now... tomorrow I will wake up with puffy eyes :.....(

ps. Thank God for adoptive family! Fernando has two sets of Canadian grandparents that adopted him :)

100 Things that makes me Happy- part 1

My friend Carissa @ The Fabulous Design Blog started her list of 100 things that makes her happy. She found this idea at Sofia's Journal.

When I saw it, it made me realize that I don't often pay attention to many things makes me happy. When I started my list, I noticed that mainly is the little things that makes me happy :)


1. My family
2. My little monkey's smile
3. A kiss and hug from my hubby
4. Dress up (the whole package: do my hair, put on makeup, accessories and a cute dress)
5. My hubby playing the guitar.



6. flowers
7. cute cupcakes
8. watermelon
9. dandelions
10. bright colors

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

5 months

Little Fernando just turned 5 months a few days ago!
Last night got on the computer and started looking through all the photos and videos we have of him. It made me cry!
Still can't believe the miracle that I have in my hands! How did he grow in my belly? How did we create him? There is only one answer. He is a miracle from the Heavens.
He is such a joy. And I know it is such a cliche, but our lives wouldn't be the same without him.

I have to confess that during the first months, I kept wondering if it was the right time to have a baby. I think it was all the lack of sleep, and all the inexperience that made me think that.

Now, I can affirm you it was the right time!

At 5 months he is now:

Rolling over

Sleeping through the night (he started doing that at around 4 months)

He has 2 teeth, and the third one is just about to pop out any day

He holds his bottle

He realized that he has feet!

Starting to sit up a little bit

Hugging and cuddling

He tries to imitate sounds

He soothes himself to sleep (yup yup we put him in the crib with his teddy bear and blanket, and it just take a few minutes before he falls sleep on himself!!!)

He is a big boy, he weights 20 lbs

Love his smile in the mornings! That face expression that he makes when he sees me in the morning when he just woke up!
Love that now he is cuddling!
Love the smell of a fresh bathe baby!
Love to see my husband spending time with him!
Love to see the hubby playing the guitar to his son!
Love to see how everyday he learns something new!
Love how he fits perfect into our lives!

Couldn't ask for a better baby

Hate to see him growing so fast!

Long time no see you blog

I have to confess that I have been writing, but not posting on my blog. Maybe because I realized that every time that I started writing it ended up being a really sad post. I think it was the weather. This winter is killing me! I am a solar person! I need heat and sunlight to survive. Thank God this last week the weather got super nice, but I shouldn't get super excited since I know it won't last long :( Oh well..

Going back to the main point of this post.

A month ago today, we moved into a new apartment. Time flies.

We are now living on a two bedroom condo (Jodi's) and we are loving it. It is amazing how little things can make you feel at home and can make your life easier.

Let start with the joy that it is that our little Fernando has his own bedroom now. He has been sleeping in his own room since we moved here and I think he loves it. He goes to bed around 9 pm and usually sleeps through the night

Since Fernando has his own room, that give us the chance to do more stuff after he is in bed. Now we can go into our room without waking him up, we can watch movies in bed, read or just chat.

We also have way more space! It feels so good that everything has his own spot in the house now. Fernando's toys and stuff are in his room, I have a closet for myself (because dad and baby share a closet lol), more cabinet space in the kitchen, etc.

Quiet. Oh yes, since we are not living downtown anymore. It almost felt weird the first couple of days to wake up to a super quiet morning, on a very quiet building.

Also, loving to have a park just behind the building complex. We have been going for walks and we take Fernando for a sled ride when it is nice out.

Oh I also like the new neighborhood. So many advantages to live here. First, one of my best friends lives like 5 minutes away :), second I have grocery store, pharmacy, gas station, Tim Hortons, Starbucks and a mall super close. Third, another one of my best friends is moving just two blocks away from us! What else could I ask for!

This week we finally started hanging up the frames, now I just have to decide which photos I want to print for the frames.

Other than that, we are all unpacked and IT FEELS LIKE HOME!

Where is home...?

A little bit more than 2 years ago I got to Canada. It was a complete mixture of feelings. So excited to start our lives as a married couple, excited to see the snow for the very first time in my life, excited for getting to know a different culture, excited to start the new adventure. On the other hand, there were the not so exciting feelings. I was worried about the super cold weather, I was sad to be so far away from my family, I was depressed for not having a working visa, and I was worried about my mexican accent, I felt lonely

But somebody rescued me. One nice day I met two awesome ladies (Carissa and Jodi) that have become not only my best friends, but our adoptive family.

What it started as a simple translating job, ended as the perfect touch I needed to feel at home.

There are no words to thank them for all the love they give us.

This weekend Jodi is moving to Tanzania! The person who made me feel at home is leaving home. But as sad as this can be for me, I am so excited that she is able to experience this amazing opportunity!

She is going to be gone for 3 years. At first, I thought "well 3 years is nothing". Then I realized that we have been in Canada for a little bit over 2 years, and we have made a life here! It is amazing what you can accomplish in 2 years.

I never thought I would consider Saskatoon "my home" by now. I love and miss Mexico, but I love living in Canada. Sadly, on the last few months my country has become a little bit scary and dangerous to live in, all due to the drug war.

This makes me think how fortunate we are of raising our little guy here. Not having to worry about insecurity (yes Saskatoon people, you have no insecurity at all!!), education, etc. makes me very happy.

My dad told me right before I left Mexico, that life is about stages, and that you have to learn to enjoy each stage. To be a kid, to be an adult, to be a mom, to be a daughter, live at home, move out, have your family close, have your family far away, live in the warm weather, live in the cold weather, to be single, to be married. He was so right, you have to let go sometimes and you have to compromise if you want to be happy. I have learned that taking risks, follow your dreams, and to be spontaneous and not over thinking can lead to a very happy happy life.

A month ago, I read this quote and I fell in love with it: "Home is where our story begins"

So, Saskatoon is where our story begins... and I plan to keep adding to this story for a long time!

ps. Jodi I wish you the best in Africa! I am sure you will find somebody that will make you feel at home like you did with us!

Love you tons! and let the story begins!

Winter Wonderland

I woke up to a snowy day. -12 degrees Celsius, but with the windchill it feels like -22.

I actually like how it looks... I keep thinking that it looks kind of magical.

What is funny is how my perception for snow had changed in the last two years.

When I got to Canada (back in September 2008) I could not wait for the first day of snow. I keep checking on the forecast hoping for a snowy day... Finally on November 9, 2008 it snowed! and guess what I did? I sat in a bench, at a park near to our apartment, for about an hour. It was magical.

Now I do not look forward for the snow! hehehehe! Now the later the snow gets here the better. I like how I get the Christmas spirit as soon as the city gets all white, but I do not like the icy roads and the messy sidewalks with a mixture of snow and sand. Oh and you know what else... I hate not wearing heals for about 5 months!

Oh well, I think this year will be different. Having our little guy with us is going to make this Christmas very special. He is such a blessing.

let try again

So here I am again... trying to keep my blog updated.. hopefully this time will work out better

Two months ago we had our first baby! What an adventure. This little guy has totally changed my perception of life. Now that we have him, there are so many things that I keep thinking about raising him as a Mexican and as a Canadian.

First of all, his name! We wanted him to have a Spanish name (just to keep the Mexican heritage on him) but at the same time, we didn't want to make his life miserable with a name that nobody in Canada would understand. So finally, after a good deliberation, we decided to name him Fernando! Fernando Aaron. And so far so good, people here in Canada seem to have no problems with the pronunciation of his name, and they even know how to spell it!

Then... his last name! Oh yeah, in Mexico we use two last names, first your dad's and then your mom's. We keep both. To keep the tradition, we decided to hyphenate his last name to keep his dad's and mine's. So my little guy ended up with a huge name! that maybe it won't even fit in his driver license! I just hope he won't hate us for that, hahahaha!